Friday, February 15, 2013

What makes a man? Don't believe the hype!

The "Hollywood" Effeminate Male vs. the Man of Character. When I say the Hollywood Effeminate Male, I'm not just talking about the fellas that dress funny, have limp wrists and slur their words... I'm talking about every male character that we find in the modern media.

This blog is primarily for the ladies (women hold the majority of cards in most relationships). I would like to help them identify the contradictions that are being handed to them via the media and the movies. We have become so attached to our favorite characters that most of us haven't realized that this is mental programming of our subconscious mind. Many are so attached to these flawed illusions of manhood they have adopted them to serve as their friends over the people they mingle with in the real world. The fact is we live in a consumer driven society where happiness is the product being sold. They can't sell happiness to happy people. So a sub-industry has evolved that quietly conditions people to give up on the happiness in their own lives by dumbing them down to the point that they now are no longer independent but dependent. To do this, logic and reasoning has been replace by ego and emotion. It's the modern personality ethic of looks and appearance matter more that substance and character.

So why do I get sick every time I turn on the television or watch the average movie? Because I see the subtle and sometimes blatant process that goes on. The contradictions within the composition of the characters on the screen that supposedly represents manhood. I am saddened by all the little boys and girls whose innocent minds are led down this path... and even more saddened by all the suffering that is perpetuated in the world by this illusion.

Below is 20 characteristics of a man. In each case, not all, I would suggest that if you put any particular movie or TV character up against it, you will find that they fall on the negative side of many of these characteristics. And these are what most men and women idolize. That is a mistake and a very solid reason why most live confused drama filled miserable lives.

This may be one of the hardest truths to face but every single character played by Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Samuel Jackson, Liam Neilson and all the other celebrities are flawed illusions on manhood. And more than likely, their real life is even more confused. These are the weak, not the strong.

For example, it is said in survey after survey that women love a man with a great sense of humor. A guy that makes them laugh! There are many movies with funny men, but if you dig just below the surface, you will see that their actions demonstrate many negative traits. Starting with the source of the humor. Is it humor based on the ego? Degrading others? Taking advantage of others? Situations that compromise their own integrity or dignity? I would suggest most of what is billed as funny isn't funny at all. We've been conditioned into believing what funny is. Don't get me wrong, laughter is very healthy... but consider the individual laughing hysterically in an insane asylum... don't be that person. Don't buy the fast-food version of funny!

My challenge to the ladies is... take these 20 traits as a template and put them up against any male character in the movies or on TV. Honestly ask yourself. Is this individual... 1.Principled? And on down the list. You will find that "No" is the predominate answer. If your honest with yourself, it won't be long before your turning off the TV and not paying to watch movies that are facilitating your unhappiness. It would be much healthier to start looking to a more genuine form of entertainment. And most importantly, passing that influence to the men in your lives as well as the little ones of what to expect and what to aspire to. Ladies, if you demand gentlemen, men of character, you might just find the men will take notice.

My challenge to men is to ask yourself: Who do I idolize? Then take this template to them. I can guarantee it won't be pretty, but that realization will probably be the best thing that could have ever happened. The time to be a man has come and here is the start to the template to build from.

1. Principled - A distinct moral compass that is consistent in every circumstance.
2. Honest - Very few are saints, but integrity is paramount to the value of a man.
3. A healthy sense of humor - humor can be one of the most effective tools a man can possess.
4. Responsible - to be free and independent a man must be willing to accept responsibility for himself.
5. Disciplined - self-control practiced to precision.
6. Strength of Character - Knows who he is and isn't ashamed of it. Doesn't compromise himself for any reason, even money, sex, or position.
7. Gentlemanly behavior - this is commonly ridiculed as being soft. However, it isn't soft at all. Compassion and courtesy only come from a position of strength.
8. A Peacemaker - uses logic and reason to diffuse explosive situation. Doesn't allow irrational emotion to cloud judgement or justify irrational actions. Use of violence to resolve issues is a failure.
9. Courageous - does the right thing even in the face of the majority.
10. Gracious - humbles himself and regularly demonstrates respect to others.
11. Direct - Doesn't mince words
12. Passionate - is enthusiastic about his pursuits.
13. Respected - surrounded by capable dependable people who see him as intigral to their life.
14. Simple- men don't have to be complex, the simple truths are enough.
15. Devoted
16. Loyal
17. Well Informed - this isn't reading the newspaper or watching the news on TV. But actually having a dedication to knowing the facts over an emotional attachment to fiction.
18. Powerful - having power isn't just physical, it's knowledge and being independent rather than dependent.
19. Technical
20. Strategic Thinker

"Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One!" ~Marcus Aurelius

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